He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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