i need an iv and a liver transplant
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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