Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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