We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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