He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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