Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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