Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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