You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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