And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
