he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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