How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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