Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
