he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we're so committed to being not committed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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