The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
