Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
