i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
