Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I looked at my own cervix.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
