my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
