Can Purell be used as lube?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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