PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
