I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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