I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize