Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
