Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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