I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
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Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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