He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
