i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
