Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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