what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
