haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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