she was so not down for the gang bang
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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