dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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