i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
His nipple licking is glorious
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