i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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