just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I FOUND THE LEGS
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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