i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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