return my video game
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
