Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
