Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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