i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
