Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
