I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
