At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
