break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize