He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize