chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
