Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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