we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
