I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As shirtless as possible
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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