tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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