get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
