Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
