im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
