Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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