Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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