Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
