Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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