ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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