new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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