i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he's gonorrhea incarnate
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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